How to Manage a Long-Distance Relationship While Studying Abroad

You are an international student weighing how to keep a relationship alive across time zones, and the search results rarely give you numbers. This guide pulls survey data, peer-reviewed studies, and named university and government support services so you have a factual basis for the decisions ahead.

How Common Breakups Are During Study Abroad

A University Post survey of University of Copenhagen students , with commentary from University of Copenhagen sociologist Poul Poder, found three in four long-distance relationships end as a result of the study-abroad separation. The same survey reported 6 in 10 exchange students arrive already in a relationship at home. After three months abroad, one in three respondents in Copenhagen reported cheating on their home partner.

A study published in the Journal of International Students surveyed 119 Austrian exchange students (average age 24, 73.9% female) about how exchange affected their committed relationships. The authors reported that couples sustaining their relationships had more in-person contact during the exchange than those whose relationships ended, suggesting outcomes track behaviour and contact patterns rather than luck.

What Predicts a Relationship Surviving the Move

Research from the Studies in Philosophy of Science and Education journal identifies four recurring themes among couples who keep the relationship intact:

• Keeping in touch through multiple communication methods (video calls, messaging, shared media)
• Trustworthiness as the foundation, including transparency about social life abroad
• Family support for both partners during the separation
• Shared long-term commitment goals, often framed around marriage

Why International Students Are Particularly Vulnerable

Long-distance separation lands on top of stressors absent for domestic students at the same scale. A 2025 systematic review published in Frontiers in Psychiatry and indexed on PMC documented these ranges among international university students:

Visa instability is now a documented stressor on top of these. Inside Higher Ed reported in late spring 2025 the US State Department halted new student visa interviews while introducing social media vetting, and ICE terminated thousands of SEVIS records across April 2025 before restoring many by late April. Students separated from partners during these months had no clear return date for visits.

Set Rules Before You Leave

The CIEE study-abroad blog , published 19 March 2024, recommends agreeing on concrete items before departure:

1. Expectations: discuss exclusivity, communication frequency, and what the relationship will look like while apart
2. Call schedule: pick fixed weekly slots such as "Sundays at 10pm your local time" so both partners can prepare and anticipate the call
3. Mindset: treat the physical and emotional distance as temporary and a challenge to manage, not a permanent state

Author Meah Matherne writes: "what my boyfriend and I struggled the most with is that we had different expectations." Mismatched expectations on contact frequency drive most early conflict.

Communication Cadence Backed by Research

A University of Wisconsin-La Crosse student research paper on social media and long-distance relationship maintenance found couples using multiple channels (video, text, shared media) report higher satisfaction than couples relying on one medium. Communication strategies recurring across studies include:

• One scheduled video call per week, minimum 30 minutes
• Daily low-effort contact: a photo, a voice note, or a single text
• A shared calendar showing each partner's exam dates and travel windows
• A monthly check-in conversation about how the arrangement is working

Avoid forced daily video calls. The CIEE guide notes spacing interactions keeps new material in the conversation and reduces the feeling of running out of topics to discuss.

Free and Low-Cost Support Services by Country

If the relationship strain is contributing to depression, anxiety, or sleep loss, your university and national services are the first stop. Costs and access vary by country.

United Kingdom

• UK institutions run a dedicated welfare or wellbeing department offering free, strictly confidential support, per UKCISA . Session caps vary by university, so check your own institution's wellbeing page for the number of free sessions available.
• International students on visas longer than six months pay the Immigration Health Surcharge and are covered by the NHS for GP and mental health referrals
• Named external services: Samaritans, Nightline (student-run, anonymous), Student Minds, Mind, GloballyMindEd

Australia

The Study Australia government portal lists:

• Lifeline: online chat, text, and phone support. The phone line is 13 11 14, per lifeline.org.au
• Beyond Blue: chat and phone counselling at beyondblue.org.au
• Suicide Call Back Service: 24/7 telephone and online counselling
• Headspace: offers many services, including support for work and study, with materials translated into many languages
• Embrace Multicultural Mental Health: multilingual mental health resources
• Head to Health: support for culturally and linguistically diverse individuals
• GP visits: standard 15 minutes, with bulk billing options through some Overseas Student Health Cover providers

United States

Campus counselling centres typically offer a capped number of free short-term sessions per academic year, with same-day crisis appointments available at most universities. Session caps and copay rates vary widely, so check your specific university's student health portal for the exact numbers under your student health insurance.

Online Therapy Platforms

Comparison from HelpGuide and Healthline :

Pricing for both platforms changes frequently. Check each provider's current rates before signing up. For cross-border couples, Talkspace supports three-way sessions where partners join from separate locations, while Regain (BetterHelp's couples service) requires both partners to be in the same location.

Cultural Stigma and Barriers to Seeking Help

The 2025 Frontiers review noted cultural stigma and fear of judgment deter many international students from accessing counselling, particularly students from East Asian, South Asian, and Middle Eastern backgrounds where mental health support carries social cost. The same review pointed to waiting times of multiple weeks at university counselling centres as a structural barrier.

Practical adjustments students use to work around stigma:

• Book through anonymous student-run lines such as Nightline in the UK before approaching campus services
• Use Embrace Multicultural Mental Health (Australia) or GloballyMindEd (UK) for culturally-matched practitioners
• Ask the campus international student office to refer you, since referrals do not appear on academic records
• Use online therapy platforms with practitioners who speak your first language

A Real Student Account

Ioanna Lagonika, an international student at the University of Stirling, wrote a Brig Newspaper column on 24 November 2025 about her long-distance relationship. She described her own Saturday "date night" ritual with her partner (movies, gaming, study calls) and quoted a friend, Naomi, on the awkward trade-off of social life abroad: "I feel bad going out when he finally has time to talk." A flatmate in the same piece raised the question many students hit at week three: "Should I be happy without him, should I be crazy in love missing him all the time?"

The column is one of the few first-person accounts naming the conflict between full immersion abroad and consistent contact with a partner at home. Both, the author argues, are valid responses, and one is not failure.

Sources

• University Post: Study abroad will damage your relationship (University of Copenhagen survey)
• Journal of International Students (EJ1248160)
• Studies in Philosophy of Science and Education: Long-Distance Romantic Relationships among International Students
• Frontiers in Psychiatry / PMC: Navigating mental health challenges in international university students
• CIEE: Navigating a Long-Distance Relationship While Abroad
• UKCISA: Mental health support in the UK
• Study Australia: Health and wellbeing
• Inside Higher Ed: Chronicling Trump's evolving international student policies
• HelpGuide: Talkspace vs BetterHelp
• Healthline: Best online couples therapy platforms
• University of Wisconsin-La Crosse: Social Media Use in Long-Distance Relationships
• Brig Newspaper (University of Stirling): Life of an International Student Vol. 1